Changing Timeslots

The Dead Homer Society is taking the freeway to some other site.  You can find us at www.deadhomersociety.wordpress.com.  

Synergy Has a Glaring Omission

"I was just thinking about Homer Simpson." - Not Shelley Long

"That's okay, I was just thinking about Sybil Danning." - Moe

One has to admire IGN's synergistically hacktacular efforts to glowingly review Zombie Simpsons.  Faced with such a daunting task as trying to put a positive spin on Maggie's bizarre subplot, they elected to simply ignore it altogether.  The word "Maggie" doesn't appear once and there isn't a single reference to her big part in the episode.  Can't say something nice?  Don't say anything at all.  That is top notch synergy.  

Happily for us, they did delve, deeply, into the even more brain rotting main "plot".  Enjoy:

April 6, 2009 - In order to produce the contractually obligated number of episodes, Tthere are always a few episodes (or more) every season dedicated to one of the Simpsons Zombie Simpsons side characters. This week, it was the shattered remnants of Moe. And as is often the case when Moe is at the center of the episode, the focus was romance pointlessly saccharine failure. Moe has never been the classiest of people, and, on network television at least, that usually turns the women away. Or rather, he can usually pull it together act way out of character for a little while, but eventually blow it in the end because the writers will probably want to do this at least three more times. And that's exactly what happened in the bittersweet repetitive and funny boring "Eeny Teeny Maya Moe."

Early in the episode, Moe excitedly tidied up his bar while retelling the story of how he had come to know Maya, an unimaginative female plot device. Fittingly, Moe had been wooing her via the Internet connection at the Springfield Public Library. Loved seeing that Gil was also there. The Internet love connection had a few enjoyable bits tried to make fun of things that were cutting edge five years ago and failed at even that modest task, including Moe asking if Maya was just some creepy guy at a public library, and then Maya asking the same question back. Moe's tragically true response: "Actually, there is a much creepier guy right next to me." (The guy was Crazy Cat Lady, making an appearance to eat some clock and cause Moe a little pain.) There was also an entertaining tedious, exposition filled bit involving the risk of opening Maya's jpeg, and then Moe prepping his own.

When the two finally decided to meet, Moe was surprised to find Maya was a little person, which made no sense but was necessary to provide a pre-commercial cliffhanger.  ("Oh, you're a little person. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. What's the correct term?" "Little person." "Whoa! Look at me being polite.") I really enjoyed despised these initial few moments because they setup a plodding, predictable and utterly unbelievable morality tale. When Moe remarked that the picture of her standing in front of a building made her look "more life-size," Maya revealed it was taken at LEGO Land. I also loved quickly tired of the few bits where Moe would say something that seemed wildly inappropriate, only to find out they were innocent true statements. The best One of these was when they were ready to go to their dinner date and Moe said he'd get the car seat. This was not a dig at Maya's size. Moe actually did need to get the passenger seat to his car, which he had removed for better mileage some reason.

The relationship was going well exactly to formula. As only Moe a comedy writer could put it, "It's like my heart wants to do her." The biggest contrived obstacle for Moe was going to be introducing Maya to his judgmental friends. Their mentality newfound cruelty was displayed when Lenny, Carl and Barney made fun of Homer for not remembering limericks. This gave us my favorite random the most egregious out of character line from the episode, when Lenny explained, "It's A, A, B, B, A, dumb ass!"

As the relationship progressed dragged on, Moe was making more and more slip-ups. One of the funniest dumbest was when Moe initially thought Maya lived in a tree. He then made up This allowed the script to include the excuse that lots of people live in trees: "Tarzan, the Berenstain Bears, flood victims." But things only got worse when Moe reached the point of completed his transparent character arc by proposing to Maya. Maya quipped, "Are you asking me to be your little woman?" and then Moe tore off with a long rant of series of gentle, safe for network TV little people jokes. It became not funny to Maya and the relationship was ended because her purpose in this episode had been served. This seemed understandable enough, but I wish Moe's jokes had been a bit more mean to truly make an effect funny in the least. After all, Maya was making the jokes first, so I felt Moe's jokes should have had a bit more bite this show used to be a comedy.

Still, after a failed time killing attempt to shorten himself through surgery with Dr. Nick, and one last encounter with a hurt Maya, Moe was able to find the positive in his situation through the knowing wisdom of Homer J. Simpson, the svengali of Zombie Simpsons. Trying to make his favorite bartender feel better, Zombie Homer said lectured, "Sometime when you least expect it, you'll realize that someone loved you, and that means someone can love you again. And that'll make you smile." A simple corny and un-Homer sentiment, but it lifted Moe's spirits, so this piece of shit could finally end. Moe added, "Who'da thought such a little woman could make me feel so big?" It was a sweet an appropriately dimwitted way to end this enjoyable episode embarrassingly clichéd tripe.

Quote of the Day

"You have such a beautiful voice." - Bart Simpson

"Guilty, as charged." - Sideshow Bob

Nobody Loves You!

The numbers are in and they're about what we've come to expect from Zombie Simpsons here in latter part of the 08-09 season.  Last night's excruciating romantic comedy/morality tale thing was viewed by 6.40 million unfortunate people.  That's a slight decrease from last week and has pushed the season average below 7.5 million. 

Season 19 averaged 8.26 million viewers per episode; I'm hoping that this season ends up below 7.26 million viewers as that would make for an impressive sounding decrease of one million viewers from season to season.  There are somewhere between four and six episodes left, and if the next four episodes are watched by the same 6.4 million people as this one then the season average would fall to to 7.25 million.  

C'mon Zombie Simpsons, choke on your own mediocrity.  

Quote of the Day

"You don't belong here. You're a fraud and a phony, and it's only a matter of time until they find you out." - Karl
(gasps) "Who told you?" - Homer Simpson

No Just God Would Permit This

What the fucking fuck was that?  I miss the Moe who threatened to gut a ten year old child and sexually harassed his cocktail waitress.  I miss the Maggie who organized the resistance at the Ayn Rand School for Tots and caught a bottle as it sailed towards Homer's head.  Also, and I don't want to watch it again to be sure, but I think the part of Bart Simpson was played by Casper, the ghost of his good friend Richie Rich.

Edited to add that the O/U on the ratings is set at 6.2 million viewers.  Ugh, what an unfathomable nightmare of television.  

Quote of the Day

"Yo, Mr. Black, another Brandy." - Jimbo Jones

"Gentlemen, to evil." - Mr. Black

Saturday Morning Cartoons

"Just sign this form, and the money will be yours." - C.M. Burns

The above is a perfect example of proper plot exposition and minor character usage.  I would submit this in direct contrast to, say, Rev. Lovejoy not being holy for a while, Skinner and Comic Book Guy chasing an ancient riddle and especially magical tomato sauce.  

Homer needs $5,000, Burns gives it to him because Homer doesn't understand the word "usury", and the story moves along.  There are no words wasted and no more time taken than necessary.  The five grand is never mentioned again because it doesn't need to be.  Everyone acted in character; Homer made a poor financial decision and Burns tightened his stranglehold on Homer's tiny life.  It's hilarious, it fits, and it ends quickly.  

I love this show.

Quote of the Day

"Look at all those worried faces. Except for Lenny, he looks great!" - Marge Simpson

"This is the worst day of my life." - Lenny Leonard

Friday Link Dump - Canadian Underwear Edition

"Free and easy Lis, ahh.  There's nothing like an unfurnished basement for pure comfort." - Bart Simpson

Mentioning unmentionables - It's meandering, it's about underwear, and he flubs the quote slightly; still, that's pretty good usage.

The Simpsons Sundays 8PM - Mmmm, that's some top notch synergy from Fox's Toledo, OH affiliate.  

ER Ends Its 15-year Run on TV.  Good Riddance - It's always pleasing when shows that haven't been relevant for a long time finally turn out the lights.  Plus he mentions Zombie Simpsons.  

Humane Society of the United States presents 23rd Genesis Awards - Zombie Simpsons won for what must be that "cow" episode I said I was glad I'd never seen.  Hey, isn't the Humane Society good at putting things long past their prime out of their misery?  Just saying.  

"Wedding For Disaster"/"Not All Dogs Go To Heaven"/"Wife Insurance" - Steve Heisler of A.V. Club has failed.  In complaining that Zombie Simpsons had to spend too much time on backstory he writes:

But because the show has to spend a bunch of time explaining why they are allowed to do what they are about to do—presumably to appease message board fans—they've wasted time they could be spending on the episode proper.

Bzzzt.  I'm sorry, that's incorrect.  A.V. Club may reward knowledge, but here at Dead Homer Society we punish ignorance and that is a profoundly ignorant statement.  It has been amply demonstrated that Zombie Simpsons doesn't give two shits about "message board fans", they never have and never will.  (Whether or not they should is a separate question.)  And they certainly weren't eating up all that clock to make internet fanboys happy (killing time is precisely what makes us unhappy).  They eat clock because each episode only contains about three decent jokes and that just doesn't cut it for a 22-minute show.  

Comic book writer Mark Millar is giving up 'The Simpsons' for Lent! - He's doing it for a charity instead of some phony baloney deity, but it still strikes me as stupid.  Though he seems an agreeable enough fellow:

He said: I always try to give up beer for Lent and fail two weeks in.

So the family and I are all doing something a little different this year and will give up The Simpsons, which is our favourite television programme.

Im pleased about this because it means I can still go to the pub.

To be fair, two (or three) whole weeks with only wine is enough to make anyone go crazy.  

April Fools': Best of the Net - Homer Simpson's voice was used on the PA system of Parisian train stations.  It's not Castellaneta's voice, presumably it's whoever does the French dubbed dialogue.  I find the YouTube video oddly interesting, though of course it doesn't hurt that it's only twenty-eight seconds long:

The good oil: BMW 7 series to stop 'Homer Simpson syndrome' - I don't see what talking on a cellphone while driving really has to do with Homer, but I'm not from New Zealand.

MICA survey to assist city leader decisions - Remember when I said the statistics quote is the one I see screwed up more often than any other?  Here it is again.  Forfty!

LBS Startups to Keep on Your Map - This is about cellphones, but the Marge reference is excellent usage.

Fashion Police - I don't generally approve of fashion columns or Ohio State, but this I can get on board with:

Ah the Simpsons. An all-time classic television show that's been on for about as long as I've been alive and that's actually been funny for about half of it.

Indeed.  

Quote of the Day

"You know Marge, that Bart of ours is a little miracle. His winning smile, his button nose, his fat little stomach, his face alight with wholesome mischief. He reminds me of me, before the weight of the world crushed my spirit." - Homer Simpson

Put Down The Glass Dick

"Let's just say that fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug was the drugs." - Homer Simpson

I have been perusing some of my favorite Simpsons forums in the last few days and for the most part the responses to last Sunday's Zombie Simpsons have been par for the season. Most people can't express enough love for the new episodes, a few are satisfied but have some complaints, and even fewer seem to hate them enough to qualify for membership in DHS. What I have been seeing that bothers me is an increase in comments that express a desire to see even more of the crap that has ruined this show over the years. Seriously people, has the crack epidemic picked up again? Is FOX spiking the world's water supply? What drugs are you people doing that forces you to post this garbage on the internet for everyone to see? For example, the user 'Simpsonfloyd' on nohomers.net states

The parson could even become for Lovejoy waht (sic) Chalmers is for Skinner That would be interesting

First of all it wouldn't. Unless you mean interesting like having your face mauled by a bear. Then it would. That singing bastard almost cost me sex with my wife for a month. Second of all, that is the kind of thing that ruined the fucking show! We don't need any more characters! Throw away characters are fine, but they almost always end up becoming regulars. Why is Disco Stu not only in most episodes but in the fucking opening?!? The same goes for the octuplets and for that matter Gil. Also, and I am sure I am not the first bird to sing this song, Gil is an absolutely appalling replacement for the many characters of the late Phil Hartman. In fact every time I see Gil in an episode I get the feeling Mr. Hartman is crying in rich man heaven. But I digress.

Well, that user's comment covers the addition of new characters, but as long as were are talkin' crazy, let me add to the list of things I assume people like Simpsonfloyd would love to see:

1. Homer Crying more often. 20 seconds an episode just ain't going to do it. In fact let's see if Homer can cry for the duration of an entire episode sometime.

2. More story shows. There is nothing like a good episode where the family ends up in a library or something and retells famous stories with them in place of the orignal characters. Man that's good TV.

3. Less Scenes in the power plant. Back in the first 10 seasons of the show Homer spent an inordinate amount of time at work. While it was sometimes funny, it wasn't that funny and it encourages countries like France to rely on nuclear power. Homer may get fired almost every episode nowadays, but can't we just pretend he never worked there at all? The planet and the Country's funny bones will thank you.

4. More B-list celebrities. We've been doing a good job avoiding the A-listers this season with the likes of Mark Cuban, Emily Blunt and Will Shortz, but let's really go for it folks! I say we get some guests like Craig Ferguson, Kathy Griffen, or the guy that played Bud on the series "Married With Children." I bet he'd do it for free!

I can't do this anymore, my soul hurts. Anyway, I would like to request that you Zombie fans lay off the pipe for a few weeks and see if you still want to see such nonsense every Sunday night. I think you'll be surprised.

Simpsons stamps to make life worthwhile

"The airplane's upside down." - Homer Simpson

Downtrodden philatelists rejoice - the United States Postal Service has heard your desperate, needy pleas and in an act of noblesse oblige, will finally loose a series of Simpsons-themed stamps for public comsumption. In conjunction with the Fox marketing machine, these stamps are obviously intended to be another salvo in what is sure to be a clusterfuck of a Simpsons 20th anniversary media onslaught later this year.

The 44-cent first class stamps will be previewed on April 9th; no word yet as to when they'll be released into nerds' greedy, greasy mitts. If we're lucky, maybe we'll even get an episode where the stamps are featured in some dreadful cross-promotional plot. Hey, we can dream, can't we?

Via Reuters.

Quote of the Day

"Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment." - Homer Simpson

"Are you going to eat it?" - Marge Simpson

(pause) "Yes." - Homer Simpson

Matt Groening's a little confused

“Matt Groening? What’s he doing in a museum? He can barely draw.” - Homer Simpson

We just caught wind that Matt Groening was interviewed last week by the folks over at the A.V. Club. In the interview, Mr. Groening revealed his insights into the past and future of animation and humor, while pontificating about the meaning of heaven and earth. Well, he didn’t really discuss the last bit so much, but he did offer some choice words for critics of Zombie Simpsons, with which we naturally take issue. To wit:

“The criticism of the show, that it’s not as good as the show you remember when you were 9 years old, is probably true, but then no show is as good as the one you thought was probably the greatest when you were 9 years old. It’s the nature of comparing something to the thing you loved the most at the time. If the show had been cancelled after five seasons, it would be forgotten.”

Challenge. I was one of those 9-year-olds that grew up with the show. While I watched The Simpsons back then and was entertained by it on a baser level, it wasn’t until later in high school when I appreciated the show for what it was: a dense, multi-faceted comedy that rewarded thoughtful viewers with sharp, intelligent humor. At age 9, I thoroughly enjoyed the show’s slapstick tendencies and occasional puerile jokes (Buttzilla, anyone?) since the cultural references usually flew over my head. As I grew up, I fell in love with the show as subtle allusions to classic literature, film, and pop culture revealed themselves, while the edgy social satire suddenly made sense. This had the effect of making The Simpsons even richer; it was the show that kept on giving. Imagined nostalgia and hollow sentiment have nothing to do with why I love the first eight or so seasons. And I speak for all of us here at the Dead Homer Society when I say they will be treasured, not forgotten.

The bearded one continues:

“If The Simpsons came on now, having never been seen before, with those original episodes, I don’t think anyone would give them a second look, because they’re so crude and primitive in their execution. But like I said, styles change, and all I ask of critics—of online critics of the show that say ‘Oh, it hasn’t been good since season X’—is that, in the opinion of people who work on the show, that’s simply not true. I’m not saying that every episode is better than the previous, but I’m saying that to completely out-of-hand condemn a decade of the show is a very easy position to take, and the fact is, the show has done absolutely brilliant stuff consistently throughout its history. Like I said, I’m not defending every single joke in every single episode, but if we didn’t like what we were doing, we wouldn’t keep doing it.”

Admittedly, the original episodes were “crude and primitive in their execution” - no argument there. Then again, I would expect an episode produced in 2009 to look better than one produced in 1989. Aesthetics aside, the episodes in the first couple seasons were still well-written and the characters endearing, effortlessly setting the stage for the brilliance that characterized later seasons. The impact those seasons had on viewers is indelible and their critical reception is well-deserved. It’s a tough act to consistently prolong year after year.

While I can sense Mr. Groening’s brooding frustration at those who damn a body of work because of a few bad instances, I don’t think the show’s most sober critics are doing that. We're not that simple-minded. It is disingenuous, however, to say that the show has “absolutely done brilliant stuff consistently throughout its history.” No way. It is a complete lack of consistency that is the hallmark of Zombie Simpsons. Plots have become lazier, gags cruder. Venerable characters have been redefined after years of careful development (notably, Homer’s perplexing transformation from oafish, loving father to obnoxious, injury-prone jackass), a perfect foil for the insufferable and foolish cavalcade of celebrity guest stars. The show that has, for all intents and purposes, defined modern comedy has slipped into the conventions that it used to boldly and routinely reject.

Accepting Zombie Simpsons for what it is, let’s go ahead take Mr. Groening’s assertion at face value, that is, the folks who work on the show continue to enjoy what they do and that’s why they keep doing it. Well, duh. Talk about an an easy ad hominem argument, which in the face of declining viewership and social relevance makes even less sense. It still prints money for those involved, but really, how fat do your coffers need to be?

Listen, none of us would be complaining if the show had soldiered on with contemporary ideas and quality intact. But, as Mr. Groening implies, it’s not reasonable to expect that. We agree. Twenty years is an eternity in television. We've been insistent that Zombie Simpsons as is bears little resemblance to the show that preceded it. So either fix it (improbable, now that we're fumbling through the twentieth season), call it something else (pointless - a spade's a spade), or just let it die. We've been happily endorsing the latter option and not just out of empty, callous spite. There’s simply no shame in admitting when enough’s enough.

Oh, and Matt - you have an open and standing invitation to speak with us whenever you’d like.

Quote of the Day

"Now who's laughing?  Now who's laughing?" – The Simpsons