Not Just a River in Egypt

"Lost your Dad?" - TV Announcer

"Uh-huh." - Lonely Boy

"He's not coming back, is he?" - TV Announcer

"He might." - Lonely Boy

"No, he's not." - TV Announcer

Go and read this thread over at tv.com.  It's only two pages, and a lot of it is box quotes, so it really won't take long.  

I'm serious.  

Finished?  Good.  That thread is an excellent example of what this particular blog is struggling against.  These unfortunate people are talking about 500 episodes like it's a good thing.  That's bad enough, but here's the kicker: 

A guy named simpsonian100 writes:

I hope the show improves and all the characters go back to their old ways. Bart has become too sensitive in the past few seasons, such as caring for that cow and being sad when Homer stole things as a fireman. Season 5 Bart would have thought that was so cool.

Fine sentiment, young lad.  I think I made it about halfway through that Fireman Homer episode before I lost interest, and . . . uh . . . "caring for that cow"?  Jebus, I'm glad I haven't seen that one.  But he's correct, when would Bart ever shame Homer into behaving like an adult?  Never.  And this guy wants the show to stay on another four seasons.  

Now, here's the really sad reply.  From cvjrbdjkasfi comes this directly after quoting simpsonian100:

Like when Bart stile [sic] Bonestorm, and was guilty about it? 

He means this like it's a comeback.  Like, "Oh really?  Well, what about this, it's from your precious old Simpsons and it's the same!"  I find it amusing that he cites Marge Be Not Proud because that is the "One Bad Episode" alluded to in the Manifesto.  More to the point though, this is a perfect illustration of the unfortunate realities of modern Simpsons fandom.  

There are basically two kinds of people who watch Zombie Simpsons, people who will admit that it's not as good as it used to be but watch it anyway, and people who think the old episodes are overrated.  The later group, personified here by cvjrbdjkasfi, is basically hopeless.  Either they're too young to really appreciate what the show once was or they're just dumb, or both.  

It's the former group, people like simpsonian100, that pains me though, because I was once one of them.  People have been talking about the show "improving" or getting back to form for more than a decade now, ever since things really went to hell starting in Season 8.  At some point you just have to accept that The Simpsons is over and it's never coming back.