An Atypical Valentine's Day Complaint

"Poor Ralph." - Lisa Simpson

Bitching about Valentine's Day is almost a pro forma excercise these days (and something of a cottage industry).  Basically, people who are in love are made to feel bad because their relationships don't live up to the ideal, and people who are not in love are made to feel bad for being alone.  Of course, making people feel bad to get them to spend money is pretty much the whole point.  But I don't actually care about any of that because I am an ugly and hate filled man.  Now, for the Simpsons part.  

In "I Love Lisa", also known as the Valentine's Day episode, Ralph falls hard for Lisa after she gives him a Valentine's Day card out of pity.  (One suspects that pity is going to be a recurring theme in Ralph Wiggum's love life.)  I was always slightly bothered by that scene because at my school when we did pointless busy work by making Valentines mailboxes and giving out cards we were required to bring a card for every person in the class.  (I don't know if this policy was the norm or not, my guess is that once upon a time it wasn't and now it is.)  This prevented Wiggum type situations and managed the neat trick of cheapening an already bankrupt holiday.  

It also raises another question.  How does one write a Valentine's Day message to a person one downright loathes?  If I wrote what I really thought ("I hate you and I hope you go to hell.  Love, Charlie") I'd get in trouble.  The only other option is to lie.  It's a holiday built around an inescapable trap of dishonesty and I always thought that was fitting.  

And now, for our own Valentine's Day humiliation.  I'm going to ask for comments and I doubt I'm going to get any because nobody love us/reads this blog.  If your school did Valentine's Day exchanges, were you required to bring one for everybody or was emotional humiliation a possibility?