Coincidentally, My House Is Made From Wood

"Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!" - Troy McClure

Earlier today the season 12 episode "Lisa the Tree Hugger" was on, and since I was out of beer and dinner wouldn't be ready for 30 minutes, I decided to watch it. I remember watching this episode when it first came on; I don't remember when that was or what it was about other than Lisa taking up a cause in an non-hilarious way. For those of you who haven't seen it and hopefully won't watch it, it turns out Lisa falls for a good looking, free spirited level five vegan and ends up living in some giant redwood to protest its removal. It was as funny as it sounds.

The episode had a couple good jokes, most notably when Lou says "You gotta love what you do chief" after shooting a bean bag bazooka at some protester and when Moe says "Well, I Ain't never said no to a dead girl yet..." But after that it was shit. Guest star Joshua Jackson, who apparently was on Dawson's Creek (which apparently earned you a guest spot on The Simpsons 8 years ago) sounded like he was reading the script for the first time and was as unsure about it then as I am now. Also the log song in the end may have been the most disgraceful thing I have seen since I watched the CSPAN coverage of the tobacco execs telling Congress that nicotine isn't addictive.

This is obviously not the first episode in which Lisa takes up one of those earth friendly causes that if successful would seriously impede my chosen way of life. In season 7 Lisa decides to become a vegetarian and hilarity followed as she discovered you can't force your poorly researched and gut-driven decisions on those of us who prefer the taste of blood to that of cellulose. (Fuck you PETA) I would recommend you watch that episode instead of this one, because not only was it funnier in all ways, Lisa's beliefs also get their comeupins.

On a closing note, for all you hippies and tree huggers talking bad about me under your breath for not supporting vegetarianism, animal protection or environmental stewardship, I have only this to say: The next time you think about lecturing someone on how the melting icecaps are going to kill the polar bears, I want you to go to the north pole, stand around awhile, and see how those bears thank you. They have a neat way of doing it.