Take this episode, please!

"It'll be great to see the old gang again, Potsie, Ralph Malph, the Fonz." - Homer Simpson
"That was 'Happy Days'." - Marge Simpson
"No, they weren't all happy days, like the time Pinky Tuscadero crashed her motorcycle, or the night I lost all my money to those card sharks and my dad Tom Bosley had to get it back." - Homer Simpson

The next new Zombie Simpsons episode is less than a week away. The buzz seems to revolve around the fact that it will be in HD, but I don't care about that. I, like everyone else who is fortunate enough not to work for FOX, have not seen the episode yet, but I have read the summary and am confidant in saying that it will be as awful as anything else they've had the guts to air as of late. I am sure true Simpson's fans will not argue with me on this. Since the preview says this will be a flashback to flashforward episode I will, in a two part series, describe the reasons for my hatred of Zombie Simpsons episodes involving flash-anything.

The first part will focus on the flashback aspect of this on-screen defecation. There are four main reasons I take issue with the episodes that have used flashbacks in the last, say, 10 years. (ugh)

1. Unnecessary auxiliary character involvement.

All of the Zombie Simpsons episodes that involve flashbacks contain characters that have no place in Homer's life until adulthood. Lenny, Carl and Moe, I am looking at you. Get out of Homer's past and stay out. Barney, you can stay.

2. Unnecessary Homer info.

In high school, as well as before and after that, Homer was a loser and a slacker. He has no business running for class president, having a future in any sort of job, or anything else requiring forethought and competence. If you think back to his foray into the debate team, you will remember he mooned for rebuttal. The fact that he had any idea of the concept of the word 'rebuttal' almost stretches too far. (Even though I wouldn't change that scene for all the doughnuts in Springfield)

3. Unnecessary relationship drama.

In the episode "The Way We Was", Homer and Marge had some drama as they were starting their love life. Fine. That was hilarious. There is no need to further test their relationship with childhood kisses and near breakups in other flashback episodes. If you want to do that crap, do it in present time like a real man would.

4. History.

Every flashback episode since season 6's "And Maggie Makes Three" has been terrible. I don't know how many there are as I am not willing to do the research and I am sure that I have repressed the memory of most of them. But I assume they are as terrible as the ones I have seen. That's right "The Blunder Years", "The Way We Weren't" and "That 90's Show" were all terrible and anyone who says otherwise is a communist. There I said it.

The list will probably not look much different in part two of this series, but I feel better as creating it has been something of a cathartic exercise.

Only because I didn't mention it earlier, I would ask you all to watch "Lisa's First Word" and enjoy proper flashback usage.