Friday Link Dump - Math and Science Edition

"Lisa, your father needs your help.  Do you know anything about Germany?" - Homer Simpson

"Well, it's a country in Europe." - Lisa Simpson

"Good good, I'm learning." - Homer Simpson

I found two different Periodic Tables on-line this week that use Homer Simpson to represent Element 108, Hassium.  It doesn't exist in nature, has a half life of 0.002 seconds and was discovered/created in 1984 by some Germans.  

Cartoon Character Periodic Table - Cobra Commander as Cobalt is good, but having The Tick as Titanium is better.  Also, Flanders is Neodymium; unlike Homer he's stable and exists outside of a laboratory.  (Via Digg)

Video Game Character Periodic Table - There are some cartoon characters sprinkled around this one on the grounds that Homer and Iron Man have been in video games even if they were originally created elsewhere.  My personal favorite here is John Madden, the father of video game football, as Mendelevium which was named after Dimtri Mendeleev the father of the periodic table.  Little known fact, Mendeleev went to grade school with Brett Favre and loves Turducken.  (Via Kombo)

Sexy maths: A number-munching celebration - Don't forget, tomorrow is Pi Day!  On Pi Day for every circle that has its area calculated an angel gets its wings . . . or was it circumference?  I forget which.  On a related note, I'm glad I've never seen the piece of shit episode that makes this link a Simpsons reference, though this is entertaining:

If we had evolved with a different anatomy, say with eight fingers like Homer Simpson, pi would still be the same expression of the unchanging ratio between the circumference and diameter of a circle but using powers of eight rather than powers of ten as our natural base would mean pi began 3.110375...

I miss my base-6 math textbook.  

Old flag's just fine - It seems that there's a debate in Manitoba about changing the provincial flag.  Our author, the awesomely named Ace Burpee, is against it:  

I read one quote online that supporters of a new flag would "like it to be easier for kids to draw". Then change the Canadian flag as well because every drawing of a maple leaf by a child looks like a hybrid between Lisa Simpson's hair and a marijuana leaf.

Because marijuana leaves are so much easier to draw than maple leaves.  

Teaching humanities in a culture of business - A couple of sisters in Buffalo are taking the 'dolt' out of A-dolt education by teaching Shakespeare and other humanities to people who didn't learn them in school.  One of the sisters, Deepa Govindaraj, endears herself to us by saying, "I think 'The Simpsons' is high culture."  

Italy Upsets Canada at World Baseball Classic - The New York Times laughs at the World Baseball Classic's loose eligibility rules and likens them to Mr. Burns bringing in professional baseballers.

Lions even get dissed in animation - The Detroit Free-Press takes a little umbrage at Zombie Simpsons' portrayal last week of evil Flanders as a Lions fan.  Speaking as a Lions fan I'd agree, but speaking as a Simpsons fan I know it's far too much to ask Zombie Simpsons to put thought into things.  "Detroit Lions GM" would've been funnier and more apt that "Detroit Lions Fan".  

TV star dubs cllr "Homer Simpson of Culture" - I know these words but this story makes no sense. 

TV Recap: 24 - Episode 13 8:00-9:00 PM - Jebus I'm glad I don't watch 24.  If a critic can compare the actions of your fictional president to Herb Powell it might be time to watch a different program.  

Craft Village UK revamps Simpsons gift range - "Sounded large when I ordered it.  Ahh, I can't make hide nor hair of these metric booby traps."

A little housekeeping - Wow, NPR is really vacuous and stupid.  This podcast does reference The Simpsons at about the 11 minute mark, but I wouldn't recommend it.  

Bedford police seize drugs that look like kids' vitamins - This is very simple and I'm only going to say it once, DO NOT PUT ILLEGAL DRUGS UNDER YOUR SEAT.  Put them in the glove box or the trunk and if the officer asks to open it you say "No".  I know this, you know this, Jay-Z knows this.  Also, I find it amusing that while the Bart Simpson and Superman ecstasy pills are right side up, the cops have the Autobot symbol upside down.  

Bart or a Flanders kid -- who would you rather raise? - SF Chronicle baby blog, we've praised you before, but this is dumb even by internet standards.

'Simpsons' in stone Hollywood on hold - So you want to make a statue of the family sitting on the couch?  Fine.  I don't think that makes this true: 

the statue would replicate the five-member family sitting on a couch watching TV, a scene in the 2007 "The Simpsons Movie."

You know, they've been sitting on that couch for a long time; it isn't exactly from the movie. 

Detectives identify injured woman - A missing woman is identified by her Marge Simpson key chain.  

Reagan Library Honored for Exhibit - Nothing is more prestigious than an award from the Themed Entertainment Association.  It's so prestigious that the Simpsons ride and the Beijing Olympics also won something.  Enh, it's still better than a Grammy.  

Celebrity sighting: Cy Young Winner CC Sabathia meets Homer Simpson at Universal Orlando Resort - Morbidly obese, past his prime pitcher, recently signed to a bloated contract that he'll never live up to, meets morbidly obese, past his prime cartoon character, recently signed to a bloated contract that he'll never live up to.